Trust you'll make the right decisions . . . always . . .

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. ~Benjamin Spock

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know I'm a big believer in always, always, always . . . ummm ALWAYS trusting your instincts. I can't stress it enough! I mean, whenever I've gone against what my solar plexus is telling me, things have not turned out right. Ever! So, back on December 3rd, I wrote about an old friend, FEAR, coming in and trying to mess with my head. There were a few things going on at that time, a few changes that seemed to be happening, and I started to feel a hesitation. Since these were good things and they seemed to be along the same path that I wanted to go in, I just thought that my hesitation and lack of being 100% excited was due to FEAR of change. I thought it was FEAR of taking the necessary steps to move to the next phase of my life. I mean, I had been working with Erin Stutland in the Magical Manifesters group for a couple of months at this time. Some of these changes that were being presented to me stemmed from opportunities that had come up due to our work together. So, of course FEAR was trying to mess with my head and get me to start questioning my decisions . . . or was it?

It is now January 12th and in hindsight, I see that I was right . . . it was fear rearing its ugly head at me back in December. But, it wasn't for the reasons that I had previously thought and mentioned above. It was fear of NOT trusting my own instincts and making the wrong decisions about the steps I needed to take to make the necessary changes in my life. Does that make sense? I was afraid that the opportunities that were presented, weren't the right opportunities for me. Now, don't get me wrong . . . the opportunities and ideas were pretty damn good. And I do think that the reason my solar plexus wasn't in an outright uproar was because these ideas grew from a state of peace and calm, rational thinking and not out of desperation. So what if it wasn't exactly what I wanted, it was still a great thing happening.

Well, I decided to take it easy on this new venture. I took some time off towards the end of December and meditated on everything. I worked on my art. I started work on two commissioned Magicalized Portraits. I enjoyed time with Jhon and friends and time at home just relaxing and being open to the possibilities. I basically surrendered to the Universe once again. Letting it know that I completely trusted the fact that only GOOD would flow to me. And in a matter of a couple of weeks, I am happy to announce that only BRILLIANT, SHINING GOOD has indeed come my way.

The path is clear. The clarity of mind and spirit has never been greater. There is NO FEAR present in any cell of my body. Every step I take is decidedly sure and strong. I feel protected. I feel empowered. I see why everything happened the way it did. I also realized how wonderful the support and work done with Erin's Magical Manifesters has been and hopefully, will continue to be. Working with the group gave me the confidence to really trust in myself. And, I also felt that if one thing didn't work out as planned, I had the ability and support to try another, and another, and another if there was a need. As more details are revealed to me, I will then reveal them to you. Just know that some times, your gut instincts aren't as loud as you might think they'd be. You'll still feel something, but not as strong. Some times, they are a little bit muted and those are the times when it is best to take a breather. Stop all decision-making and let the answers flow. . . they'll come in due time. It's all MAGIC!

Peace and Light and KEEP DREAMING, no matter what!

Gene-Manuel

The energy of women . . . divine power!

For the past week, I've been writing about the energy created by the gathering of two or more. I'd like to share with you something that happened to me quite recently at one of my last IntenSati classes. If you don't know what IntenSati is, please read my blog entries here: IntenSati or visit Erin's website directly: Erin Stutland.

Well, this happened at the end of October, which was also the last class of the 4-week workshop. We had just finished the physical part of the class, which really kicks up a storm of amazing energy. Erin then had us form a large circle and had us look around at the people in the room. Really taking the time to acknowledge each other. As I did this, I realized I was the only male in the room. No big deal really. Most of the time there are only a few guys in the Wednesday night class but this night, I was the only one. We then started the process of updating each other on our progress for the month. How did we do with our intentions and what actions did we take to manifest those intentions that we had set at the beginning of the month.

One by one, these amazing women started to share their incredible progress and accomplishments. I was close to the end of the circle so I had time, before I had to share, to really pay attention to what they were saying. All of a sudden I felt it. I was enveloped in a soothing, pure, loving, caring, kind, yet strong and powerful energy. Undoubtedly feminine. Undoubtedly divine. In what felt like flashes, I was given snippets of information about the Divine Feminine and the strength and intelligence in all women. I felt how this could have easily intimidated men and how important to their egos it must have been to weaken the female sex in order to protect said egos. As I looked around this room, the flashes kept coming. I felt how it's all starting to change. How the tide is shifting along with the changing times and how women are more important than ever in our world. I felt a sudden sadness in regards to the state of our planet. Our beautiful, ever expanding planet would be a much different place to live in if women had been given more control over it. There is a reason we call our planet Mother Earth. It is female. It's loving energy is that of a tender yet stern mother and its love for us, her children is unconditional and everlasting. Deep inside I gave a sincerely apology to all of the incredible women of the past whose energy and vision were stifled by the times they lived in. How proud would they be now of their current daughters and sisters.

My turn came to speak and I managed to get a few words out. It was actually about this blog and how I had managed to begin writing three postings per week. I wanted to share a little of what had just happened but we were pressed for time and I also didn't know how I would explain it in just a few minutes. I won't say that I came out of the class with a new respect for women because I have always had that. I've always thought that women were the strongest beings on Earth. I will say that I left the class excited about the future of our world. With women taking a stronger and more powerful leadership role on this planet, things will finally start moving in the right direction. My hope is that there will continue to be a new wave of The Divine Feminine and with a united force, women will lead us into a peaceful, spiritual and loving New Earth! Shine on ladies! Shine on!

I encourage you all, women and men, to do some research on The Divine Feminine and this article by Elizabeth Debold is a great start: The Divine Feminine, Unveiled

Peace and Light to you all and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

You have absolute control over . . . YOU

"Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." ~ Madonna (Justify My Love)

Ha ha! Although I'll use any excuse to use a quote from Madonna, those words have always meant a lot to me. When I first heard these lyrics, as part of the "Justify My Love" song, I was a young kid still struggling with my sexuality. Therefore, I took them to heart as a message to be myself. That I had the right to love and be loved no matter what the world at large thought of people like me. The words kept repeating in my head. "Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." It still took me about a year or so after this song to fully accept who I was. Part of this included the acceptance of the fact that in life, we sometimes have to deal with others not liking us for their own personal reasons. And the big lesson there is not letting this ever stop us from leading a fantastic, free and authentic life. No matter who these people are.

This quote applies to life, period. Poor is anyone that lets their own happiness rest in the hands of another person. When I decided to accept myself completely, that was all I needed to do. I'm not saying it was easy to come to the realization that by me coming out to my parents, I ran the risk of losing them forever, but you know what? If my being gay was going to do that, then they did not deserve me in their lives. I wasn't going to let that possibility get in the way of living a life free of hiding. The more I lied to them the worse I felt. I also realized that it was my responsibility to be honest about who I was. Whenever I lied to them, the one that was truly being deceived and ultimately hurt, was me.

With the understanding that we have absolute control over our lives, comes some responsibility. Nobody can do anything to you. Nobody can make you feel small without your permission. Nobody can make you feel less-than without your permission. Nobody can make you feel happy, sad, worthless, glorious, fabulous, etc. without YOUR permission. Granted, as children, without the proper tools or life experience, it's quite easy to get caught up in that cycle of letting others dictate how you feel. But, as we grow older and more experienced, there comes a time when we have to realize it's all in our power. Blaming others for how we feel is no longer a viable option.

When you fully understand that your happiness, well-being, peace and calm rests within you, it's a whole new game of life. NO LONGER can your mother drive you crazy without your permission. NO LONGER can that co-worker make you crazy because of what he or she does or does not do. NO LONGER can you be mad at your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse because they didn't act how you wanted them to act. My happiness begins and ends with me. My staying cool, calm and collected under a stressful situation all depends on how I react to said situation.

To quote Richard Bach, ""If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem." The majority of the time, people will not act the way you'd like them to. It's just the way it goes and there's no other way around it but to accept each and every one just as they are. Accept full responsibility for how you make yourself feel. It's empowering to know that within you lies the secret to a joyful, peaceful, happy life. No one can get through unless you allow them. Once you get the hang of it, the instances when you do lose your cool due to somebody's behavior, will become less and less. And when you do fly off the handle or let some instance make you nuts, you'll immediately be aware of it because it will feel unnatural. You'll know that you've temporarily given your power to somebody else. It'll be easier to regain it and go on with your happy self!

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

In CHANGE there is POWER . . .

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." ~ Alan Cohen

I recently received a phone call from a good friend of mine, Erica, and since I was rather busy at the time of the call, I let it go to voicemail. Erica left me a very nice message, asking me how I was and hoping that all was well with us. Since Erica is quite funny, I love receiving her messages because the message will undoubtedly make me laugh. At the end of this particular message, Erica wished me what ended up being, much bliss. Erica had a hard time finding the right words since this was sort of new to her. You see, Erica was trying to speak "that crazy, wacko talk" I now have. Those were her words. Meaning, my new-found spirituality and positivity.

Now, I don't want you to think that Erica was trying to be mean or disparaging. There was a lot of love in the message and in her own way, she was trying to acknowledge my new state of "blissfulness" and let me know, she had been paying attention. This was just Erica being Erica and I loved her for that very much. But, I must say that I found the comment interesting. I immediately knew I'd be writing about it and that's always exciting news. With all of the other projects I'm involved with, being inspired to write and making the time to write is sometimes not so easy.

Erica's comment about my "crazy, wacko talk" made me realize how over the last year or so, I have indeed changed from the old me, to this new wacko talking me. How the person that I was several years ago, no longer really exists, but only a minor glimpse of him can be found every now and again when there's a slight glitch in my connection. Like a ghost. It also made me truly see how much happier I am with the me that I've finally let shine through.

This transformation, if you want to call it that, has been a long time coming. I've been attracting all kinds of teachers along the way since my early 20s when a friend and her girlfriend gave me Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love. I read it then and although some of it made sense, I wasn't ready for it. At the time I had issues with the word God and anyone that spoke to much about God, just wasn't for me. I had just escaped from my religious background and I could not get past the G word.

Then a couple of years later, I was introduced to The Magic of Believing in an interview with comedic genius Phyllis Diller. Phyllis was asked about her start in comedy when she was already in her 40s, with five children. She said that she had read a book that had changed her life. That book was The Magic of Believing by Claude M. Bristol. I immediately ran out to get this book which at the time was basically almost out of print. I found a copy and devoured it. Loved it to so much that I photocopied the entire book and gave it to my friends for X-Mas that year. I don't think any of them cared for it but for a brief time, this book had made perfect sense to me. In fact, in hindsight, I've used the principles in that book ever since I read it. Most of the time, I wasn't really aware of it but I know I did. I don't think I was completely ready for what I was learning but what is obvious is that these kinds of teachings have always been around me. I've always been attracted to them and they've always been presented to me in one way or another.

It just took a while for me to really make a connection with it all. For years I think I was afraid to truly believe in anything. I didn't want to be thought of as crazy. I also didn't know who I would become if I stopped being this bitter, sarcastic, people-hating, rage-filled Gene-Manuel. Who would I be? That had been my identity for so long! That's the person I had been hiding behind because it was much easier to complain about life and how much I hated it, than to do something about it and get out of my fucking way. I had also surrounded myself with beautiful people that accepted me as that bitter wise-cracking individual, warts and all. Who would I be in front of my friends? Would they all think I was nuts or even believe me? Would we have anything in common anymore? For a long time I had a fear of letting go of the familiar, of being miserable, for what I thought was only fantasy. There is great comfort in accepting what you think is your toll in life without venturing out and really living.

Once I became aware that I had to change in order to save my life, in order to start enjoying my life, all other concerns paled in comparison. Being stuck in an endless cycle of depression and anger was definitely not a way to live. All of these new ways of thinking that I was attracting, such as The Secret, Abraham-Hicks and Eckhart Tolle, were breaking through that exterior I had created to protect me. Eckart Tolle's writing made me aware of my ego and the part it played in the things I did or did not do. Once you're able to understand how ego can take over your life, then what others think of you becomes less of a concern. People will either accept you or they won't but you can't ever live your life worried about that. And once I became comfortable with who I was becoming, and believe me, I was as surprised at first as anybody, the Universe took care of bringing the right teachers and people into my life that I could connect with. The right books and movies came into my hands. I was more open to the messages. I became more understanding of what I was meant to be doing with my life. I slowly said goodbye to the old Gene-Manuel.

I had a rather interesting dream that was a sort of farewell to him. Luckily, Louise Hay was there to help me do it. In her calm and gentle way, she basically told me that the old me was no longer. He had served a purpose but it was time for me to say Goodbye. I no longer needed to hide behind that facade. It was a beautiful dream that I can still remember vividly. When I awoke, I felt a sense of loss for that old me but a renewed sense of self as well. So many things made sense, not only in regards to my actions in the past but of what I was doing in the now and things to come.

So it's ok if people think I'm talking crazy with all my positive posts, Day-Dreaming Tuesdays, Thank You Universe Rampages and Louise Hay quotes. That is just wonderful! I'll keep doing things this way as long as I feel the connection and keep floating downstream. I thank all of you that have joined me on this journey. All of your encouragement and kind words about what I'm doing now really keeps me in the flow and I am so grateful. Let's continue our wacko talk together! What amazing things we'll be able to create!

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel