Fear of a dark place . . .

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dark places . . . they can be quite nice . . . if you're sleeping or taking a nap. This wasn't the kind of dark place I ventured into this past Saturday. I woke up and started to get ready for the day ahead, going about business as usual. But, I felt a bit different. My energy was very low and my thoughts kept on focusing on what was NOT going on in my life rather than on what WAS. I tried my best to guide my thoughts in the right direction and for the better part of the morning, early afternoon, I sort of . . . well . . . did my best. Towards mid-day I decided to just go there. I decided to feel as miserable and dark as I wanted to. I wasn't going to fake it or stop it.

This little sojourn into a low and dark place was brought on by Fear of course. I had been battling it for the past couple of days and completely ignoring it the day before (Friday). I finally let it take me down although I was fully aware of the fact that I had within me all it took to come out of it. The first step was to promise that I would only allow myself to be in this state for a maximum of a couple of hours. That was it. I was going to feel the darkness, touch upon the misery, feel sorry for myself but only for the allotted amount of time. The other, was to not keep it a secret or fake my way through it. In the midst of it all I updated my Facebook status letting everyone that read it know what I was going through.

Almost immediately there were responses to my posting. Jhon already knew how I was feeling before the update so he had already given me his support, like he always does. The outpouring of concern and the sending of positive and uplifting vibes was palpable. By the time I got home, I was already coming out of the funk. Jhon had prepared an incredible dinner and we waited until I was fully in the clear before enjoying it. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by my art and by the people I love and love me unconditionally. Affirmations came to mind and I started to repeat them, almost without being aware of it. More than just repeating them, I entered the place of "feeling" them. "The Universe always has the best in store for me." "I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy." Two of my favorites that always have the ability to uplift and raise my energy.

Pretty soon I was able to do another status update that declared I was OUT of the dark place and into the light. In hindsight, my little adventure, because why call it anything else, really lasted about an hour total. Less than what I had given myself permission to experience! Ha! That was an awesome realization. The fact that I was able to go through a rough time, willingly, fully knowing that I was responsible for it and to then know that I had the ability to come out of it at any time. Giving myself permission to do feel as terrible as I wanted to, putting a time limit on that, and then receiving all of the positive energy from friends and loved ones are the reasons that I came out of the state so quickly.

Lots of things were proven to me by going through this. At least, for me, personally. First, that it's OK to some times just feel bad, sad or mad and full of rage and still hold on to the power we have within to get ourselves out of it. We always have it. In every single situation we are faced with, we always have control over how we feel. I also realized how important and powerful is the energy of friends and other people around you. I truly believe that when we genuinely send out positive, loving, caring or healing thoughts towards someone else, that is energy being released and sent directly to that person. And, it works. Believe me . . . it really does work. When my friends posted their comments on my update, encouraging me and sending me love and good energy . . . I FELT it. That was just through a computer. Then I received a phone call from another good friend asking me who's ass she had to kick for me . . . ah laughter and more loving and caring energy via a phone call and the sound of her voice. So, it's OK to let people know when you're not feeling 100%. It's OK to let others know how you are feeling and be truthful. The right people will come to your aid or offer just what you're needing.

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel