You have absolute control over . . . YOU

"Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." ~ Madonna (Justify My Love)

Ha ha! Although I'll use any excuse to use a quote from Madonna, those words have always meant a lot to me. When I first heard these lyrics, as part of the "Justify My Love" song, I was a young kid still struggling with my sexuality. Therefore, I took them to heart as a message to be myself. That I had the right to love and be loved no matter what the world at large thought of people like me. The words kept repeating in my head. "Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." It still took me about a year or so after this song to fully accept who I was. Part of this included the acceptance of the fact that in life, we sometimes have to deal with others not liking us for their own personal reasons. And the big lesson there is not letting this ever stop us from leading a fantastic, free and authentic life. No matter who these people are.

This quote applies to life, period. Poor is anyone that lets their own happiness rest in the hands of another person. When I decided to accept myself completely, that was all I needed to do. I'm not saying it was easy to come to the realization that by me coming out to my parents, I ran the risk of losing them forever, but you know what? If my being gay was going to do that, then they did not deserve me in their lives. I wasn't going to let that possibility get in the way of living a life free of hiding. The more I lied to them the worse I felt. I also realized that it was my responsibility to be honest about who I was. Whenever I lied to them, the one that was truly being deceived and ultimately hurt, was me.

With the understanding that we have absolute control over our lives, comes some responsibility. Nobody can do anything to you. Nobody can make you feel small without your permission. Nobody can make you feel less-than without your permission. Nobody can make you feel happy, sad, worthless, glorious, fabulous, etc. without YOUR permission. Granted, as children, without the proper tools or life experience, it's quite easy to get caught up in that cycle of letting others dictate how you feel. But, as we grow older and more experienced, there comes a time when we have to realize it's all in our power. Blaming others for how we feel is no longer a viable option.

When you fully understand that your happiness, well-being, peace and calm rests within you, it's a whole new game of life. NO LONGER can your mother drive you crazy without your permission. NO LONGER can that co-worker make you crazy because of what he or she does or does not do. NO LONGER can you be mad at your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse because they didn't act how you wanted them to act. My happiness begins and ends with me. My staying cool, calm and collected under a stressful situation all depends on how I react to said situation.

To quote Richard Bach, ""If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem." The majority of the time, people will not act the way you'd like them to. It's just the way it goes and there's no other way around it but to accept each and every one just as they are. Accept full responsibility for how you make yourself feel. It's empowering to know that within you lies the secret to a joyful, peaceful, happy life. No one can get through unless you allow them. Once you get the hang of it, the instances when you do lose your cool due to somebody's behavior, will become less and less. And when you do fly off the handle or let some instance make you nuts, you'll immediately be aware of it because it will feel unnatural. You'll know that you've temporarily given your power to somebody else. It'll be easier to regain it and go on with your happy self!

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

Right from the start, you "know" . . .

"It was much more important to you to recognize the existence of your own Guidance System, and to utilize it, than to be deemed correct by, or to find approval from, others." - Abraham-Hicks (The Vortex - Where The Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships)

The sentence above comes from Abraham-Hicks' new book, The Vortex. It appears as part of a chapter dealing with our relationship with our parents and how from birth, we already come with our own sets of beliefs, desires and actions we want to take in our lives. This is something I completely relate to and wholeheartedly believe in. I might not remember many things, such as what I had for breakfast this morning or the plot to a movie I've seen 100 times, but I distinctly remember this feeling of "knowing" all I needed to know when I was very little. I have vivid flashes of looking at my parents and thinking, "What?! Are you kidding me lady? Don't you know this is how it's done?" And, I also had no inhibitions whatsoever! Don't you remember a little of that? Or, if you don't, just observe a baby or a toddler and see how free they are. They know what they like and don't like and let you know with high-pitched screams, either of delight or anger. :-) They're not afraid to do anything and try everything. Brilliant little beings still so fully connected to the Source from which they came from.

As we get older and our well-meaning parents have taught us a thing or two, and we start dealing with other children in school, we start to lose that pure connection to Source Energy, or our Inner Being. As the connection begins to fade, our ability to trust ourselves implicitly also takes a beating. We start asking ourselves a myriad of questions before we take action. "What would mom and dad think of what I'm doing?" "If I wear this to school, I might get made fun of or picked on." "If I act this way, people will think I'm weird." And on and on and on. By the time we make it to the teenage years, it's a wonder we leave our rooms at all. It feels as if the entire world is always judging you, ready to make fun of you, or controlling your every mood.

How we survive these years and the shape in which we make it to adulthood depends on a variety of factors. Such as, what type of parents you have, religious influence, environment, etc. Personally, I was raised by Jehovah's Witnesses, lived in Communist Cuba until I was 8 and knew I was gay since I was about 4 or 5 (well, I knew I was different). Ha! With all of these factors active in my life experience, I learned to fake it to survive. But, luckily enough, I somehow kept that connection to Source that told me I was alright. I never felt a need to fully compromise myself in order to fit in or please other people. Even when those other people were my parents. I faked my way through the many years of going to Jehovah's Witness meetings and preaching door to door. What I mean is that I would do what they asked of me, up to a point. They wanted me to go preaching door to door on a Saturday morning? I'd go, but they weren't going to make me speak to anyone. They wanted me to participate in the weekly meetings and give short speeches? I'd do it, but I wasn't going to be the one preparing the speech or doing any of the research for it. I politely explained to my mother that if she wanted me to do it, she'd have to prepare the entire thing for me.

Many times we give too much of ourselves over to others in order to please them or have them like us. This is especially easy to do when it involves our parents or family members and we think that because we're blood related, then we must love and like each other no matter what. It becomes too important how another person feels about us. Too much control is then given to another. I've always had a different way of looking at these relationships, but I'll continue this on Saturday. Until then, take a few minutes and check on your connection to your Inner Being. Who's in control of your feeling good? Who are you trying to please and why? Does your happiness rely on what another person thinks about you or the way you live your life?

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

What others think about YOU is . . .

What other people think about you, is none of YOUR business. - Unknown

In the brilliant work of Byron Katie, she mentions that there are three businesses. YOUR business, OTHER people's business and [THE UNIVERSE'S] business. Can you guess which is the one business we have to be concerned with? Yup. OUR business. That's it. If you mind your own business, and only your own, can you imagine the amazing things that would be accomplished?

In doing some research for these series of entries, I came across this small article where a sweet lady that had just turned like 102 or something like that, was asked how she get to live so long. Her answer? "By minding my own business." Ha! You know what? I believed her. It makes total sense to me that this incredible woman is still living a wonderful life by minding her own business. Which to me translates into her paying attention to her own life and not what "so and so" are doing. This in turn gave most likely gave her the opportunity to be more in tuned to her needs and to really be aware of what it was that she really wanted to do with her life. Well, I'm just guessing since there wasn't much detailed information on her life but, doesn't it make sense?

When we spend precious energy in trying to find out what other people are doing with their lives or what they think about our lives, we are neglecting what really matters. We are neglecting taking care of our own business, our life. If you look at our time here on Earth as a job, then what we are meant to do is to create and experience life! Our life is our business. The more time we devote to ourselves the better the outcome. This is true whether we're speaking of our physical bodies or our spiritual selves. When the focus of our attention is in making ourselves happy and living a JOY filled life, then the rest just doesn't even come into our experience.

I'm not by any means saying that we need to be these selfish beings and that everybody else doesn't matter. I'm all for doing what we can for the greater good, always. I'm really talking about the times when we stop ourselves from truly living in authenticity. Either because we're too busy worrying about what others will think of us or way too busy caring about what others are doing with their own lives. This then grows into all these different directions. Not only do we suffer but we are then giving so much control to other people. Think about it. When your own well-being or sense of self is based on what others think of you, who has the power? When your feeling good depends on how another person is feeling or behaving, who has the power?

I'll continue this on Thursday but for now, let's take stock and become aware of who's business we're into. Is it our own or have we been a little neglectful due to overtime activity in someone else's?

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

Follow your bliss . . .

BILL MOYERS: Do you ever have the sense of... being helped by hidden hands?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: All the time. It is miraculous. I even have a superstition that has grown on me as a result of invisible hands coming all the time - namely, that if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.

Oh, to follow your BLISS . . . follow your BLISS . . . listen to your divine inner guidance and follow . . . your . . . B L I S S. Even just saying the words sparks a little joy within doesn't it? Say it out loud and see how it makes you feel. "FOLLOW YOUR BLISS"

I'm sure I had heard these famous words before but the one time I read them and truly felt them touch my core was when I was reading Anderson Cooper's book, Dispatches from the Edge. He writes about one of the most important things his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, ever told him, and that was "follow your bliss." I remember reading these words and thinking, "Wow!! What a fucking phenomenal thing to tell your child. 'Follow your bliss.'" This was at the very start of my search for my own personal bliss so I hadn't even heard of Joseph Campbell and his outstanding work.

Since then I've read, heard, and felt these words many, many times. They are the driving force behind my art and my life. They encapsulate the ultimate secret to a joyful life! Once we start to follow our own beautiful, precious, stunningly clear and simple BLISS, then it's all downstream from there. Downstream and fast without oars. Life becomes the incredible adventure it is supposed to be.

Like Mr. Campbell says above, once we start to follow our bliss, we are then connected with that path that has always been there. I'm a strong believer in how we come into this amazing world full of the knowledge that we need to flourish and shine throughout our physical experience. That's our BLISS right there. Along the way, the majority of us get distracted and subsequently thrown off course and following our Bliss doesn't even enter our minds. But, what we are born with, that brilliant inner light that I've been writing about this past week, that light is always there. No matter what we go through or all the things that have made that light get so dim it's almost gone out, no matter what, that light is still there because it is divinely connected to our Source. Call it God, Universal Energy, the Universe, Divine Light or BLISS . . . no matter what you call it, this connection is never broken. Our job then is to get with it and start to follow this bliss by letting this inner light guide us there.

The big question for me at one point was HOW?!! How do I follow my bliss? Shit! At one point I wasn't even sure what my bliss was let alone how to follow it. How could I follow something I couldn't identify? I mean, I had a few things I knew I loved doing and wanted to do, mainly my music and some acting, but it just seemed as if I wasn't motivated enough to follow them with passion. So, there came a point when I basically started asking for the answer. What was my bliss? What was I meant to do? I wrote a little bit about this here: Inspired Action (I) & Inspired Action (II) And this is how I finally came to following my bliss. I came to understand what would make me so incredibly happy and filled with joy. Once I started on that path to connecting with my inner light, slowly and carefully raising that dimmer switch on it, then it became easier and easier to see the path that would allow me to follow my own personal bliss.

I'm still on that journey. Some days I make it easier on myself than on others. But, the majority of the time, if I focus my attention on all the good in my life and on the things that make me happy, then I know I'm still following bliss. I hope to continue on the path and write about it along the way. I invite all of you to start your own journey and really tapping into your very own special inner light. Allow it to then illuminate your way towards bliss. It can be a little scary at first, but the more you trust, the easier it gets. I promise. FOLLOW.

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

Taking control of the dimmer switch . . .

"If you look deep within, you will find a brilliant light. Too many, far too many, squint and turn away from the shine. Let your eyes adjust and bathe in the radiance." ~ Source Unknown

Our inner light. . . Let me explain what I mean by inner light. I'm talking about that special something that we all have within us. I truly believe it's our own inimitable gift or gifts that we came here with. Every single person I know has something that makes them unique and beautiful and brilliant! Whether it's the ability to sing, or write, or paint or something less artistic but nonetheless unique and wonderful. We all have IT! That's our inner light! That gift is what we are meant to give to and share with the world.

That's why I love the quote above and know that it's so true. Far too many people are constantly dimming their inner light or squinting and looking away. They're afraid to acknowledge it and give it its proper attention. After some time of doing this, that light surely begins to fade. Although, I don't think it ever goes away completely. I don't even think it's possible to kill it or eradicate it. But, I do believe way too many of us have learned or been conditioned to keep our lights really turned down low, to the point where it's barely visible.

I know so many incredibly talented individuals who live in a constant struggle with their gifts. They fear showing the world what they've got to offer. And, I'm usually so amazed and bewildered whenever I hear one of them speak of their struggles. How they fear being ridiculed or criticized for their work or artistic offering. Sometimes the fear of judgment is so overwhelming that it paralyzes them from acting on and realizing their dreams!!!

How can we possibly live a happy and fulfilling life if what we came here to do isn't being done? That just seems impossible, doesn't it? Yet, so many live their lives doing just that. And what is stopping them usually boils down to fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of letting others down. Fear of making others feel "less than" if they succeed. Fear of being called selfish. Fear of not living up to expectations. The list of fears goes on and on. All of these fears are keeping amazingly brilliant beings from giving us amazingly brilliant ideas and gifts.

Slowly, we have to start turning this around in ourselves. There is nothing more liberating than facing our fears head on and seeing them tackled to the ground. We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for, and conquering our fears is something we all can do. And do you want to know why I think that? Well, it's because whenever I've faced one of my fears, I've always found it to be this teeny tiny little thing that I had some how managed to make into a much larger T H I N G. Do you know what I mean? Our minds have this ability to make our fears seem like gigantic and insurmountable monsters, when in all reality, they're quite nothing.

As an example, let's take a look at the fear of not being good enough. Well, that fear simply vanishes into thin air when we start realizing how fucking brilliant and amazing we are. That's just a truth. We come from a brilliant and amazing Source, of which we are a part of, so therefore, guess what? We're brilliant and amazing. No more arguments. The fear of not being good enough is non existent because it's not true. Absolutely false.

If you take some time to go over all of the fears that stop you from living your life to the fullest, I'm pretty sure you'll see how much stronger you are than any of them. This includes the fear of letting your family or loved ones down or fear of criticism from others. The minute you allow what someone else thinks of you, to interfere with your life, that's the exact moment you're literally giving someone else power over you. In all areas, if you give others more control over your decisions or life choices, etc., you give them control of that dimmer switch and your inner light is now in someone else's hands. Now, does that seem right? Hmmmm. . . it doesn't seem at all right to me.

I took control of my dimmer a while back and I've never been happier! How incredible it is to be in full control of that switch and crank up my inner light to FULL THROTTLE!!! No matter what goes on around me I do my best to keep shining. When it comes to my art, I never create anything and allow thoughts of how others will react or judge me on what I've created or done, to interfere with my creative process. Their reaction to my work is not in my hands. All I can do is gauge how I feel and if what I've created makes me feel fantastic and I feel like I'm shining as bright as I possibly can, then I'm on the right track. Not everything I do will connect with everyone and that's just fine. The right people will naturally gravitate towards what I do in due time. If what I come up with is going to touch someone, the Universe will make sure to make it happen. That person will stumble upon what I've done and the connection will be made.

So, once again I urge you to take control of that dimmer switch and raise it up a little bit more. Get that inner light shining just a little bit brighter if you can. I have faith in you. You're perfection in physical form. I've still got a little more to say about SHINING our personal inner light, but for now, get those lights a little brighter and start to "bathe in the radiance."

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel

When you shine, you allow others to do the same . . .

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

This incredible passage from Marianne Williamson, found in her best-selling book A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. In fact, this entire entry has been percolating for a while now. I guess I was just gathering more information or the Universe was showing me how many people suffer from this need to play small or keep their inner light on a dimmer set to low. Well, finally, I've started to write it and I have a feeling this subject might need more than just one entry.

Like Marianne mentions, we are all meant to shine! We are here on this Earth to shine a blindingly bright light and for this light to reach far and wide! We are all given a set of instructions when we come forth into the physical and nowhere in those instructions are the words "Keep your gifts to yourself and don't let yourself shine in order to not offend or make someone else feel bad about themselves." Nowhere! When we are born, we are the center of attention and we know it. Why? Well, it's not just because we are adorably cute, it's also because we just glow. Babies glow with the knowledge that they have arrived. They are here to have a really good time and make magic happen. It's inherent in all of us. So, what happens along the way to make us feel like we have no right to let this light shine? Why on earth would we start believing that it’s ok to go through life without fully realizing our inner beauty and letting that beauty flourish and radiate?

How many times are you afraid to do something just because you don't want to bring attention to yourself? How many times do you actually do what Marianne says and play small so that others around you won't feel insecure or think you are better than they are? How many times do you go against that inner voice that is always guiding you in the right direction? How many times do you not pay attention?

All good questions . . . I’ll get to them on the next post. Until then, let’s all start taking control of our own dimmer switch. First thing to do is to raise it up a notch. Just a little at first if you’re not ready for a full-blown light show . . . just a little. Shine!

Peace and Light to you and KEEP DREAMING!

Gene-Manuel