In the wonderful DVD, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay speaks about our spiritual paths and how we never stop learning. How when we start out on our individual journey, at first, there are all these boulders in our path. As we continue the journey, we start getting the boulders out of our way, up to the point where the path is just gravel. She says, "gravel you can handle . . .you can do things. . . and then occasionally, there's an old boulder." And you think, "hmmm, I thought I had taken care of that one" or "I thought I had learned all the lessons this boulder had to teach", "I did this one already." Louise then asks, "Well, how do you know you've done it, (learned the lesson) unless it comes by once more and see how you react? Have you really learned it? Or are you going to go right back to the same old reaction?"
I was speaking to a dear friend today and this topic came up. The one about knowing better, or thinking that the lesson was learned way back in the day, and all of a sudden, you're back to what feels like your old behaviour. That boulder in the road, blocking your progress.
I was recently greeted with a boulder I know well: depression. I thought I had conquered it, done it, lived in, out and through it so many times in the past. I thought that finally, I really had come out the other side. But there it was. Faced with situations that made me feel uncomfortable, helpless and hopeless, I once again felt the grip of depression take hold. Even the things in my life that were bringing me so much joy, such as my art, seemed to lose their power to bring me joy and peace. In fact, a piece I had started prior to this depression bout, has taken me longer than any other piece I've ever done. My heart was just not in it.
But, this time, things were a little different. Although there was the day where all I did was sit in my recliner and play solitaire on my iPhone, I was able to at least for an hour or two, rise above the misery. Even though the next day I cried on and off for two hours before leaving the house, I was able to reach for a better feeling thought and spend a few hours in what I call mind-relief. I was able to focus on something else that wasn't my depressed emotional state. In the past, I would've marinated in the feelings of despair and would've come up with every single reason why I was justfied in feeling this way.
This time around, I was able to face the depression head-on and instead of it blocking my progress on my life journey, I only stayed put for a couple of weeks. And even while I was there, temporarily stuck in the road, I was still able to look around the boulder and see that the path was clear. Behind this boulder of depression, there was only gravel. And, yeah, gravel I can handle.
And you know what, I was also able to appreciate how much I loved and enjoyed my life prior to the depression kicking in. I realized that the only thing that had changed, was the way I was thinking about things. I missed that new me that had emerged from the years of self-inflicted pain, despair, anger and rage.
As it turns out, I guess I have been paying attention. All the wonderful teachers that I've attracted to me, and their words of wisdom and hope, had given me something I lacked before. Eckhart Tolle taught me to be as present as possible. Byron Katie's work allowed me to do The Work on the issues that were causing me such pain and rage and suffering. The messages and rampages of Abraham-Hicks were a blessing and a comfort. Every now and again I would hear Wayne Dyer's voice in my head, reminding me that by changing my thoughts, I could change my life.
I'm happy to say that I was able to slowly and carefully remove that boulder from my path. It has rolled to the side of road and although I hope I don't have to meet with it again, I feel pretty confident that I'll able able to handle it if I do. It just takes a constant awareness of what I'm feeling and what thoughts I'm focusing on. I can't always control the things around me, but I do have the power to control how I react to them. And, really, I feel it all boils down to trusting that the Universe is always looking out for me. If deep in my core I know that I'm being taken care of by an all-loving, peaceful and generous Universe, then I've got nothing to worry about.
Until next time.
Peace and Light and keep dreaming,
Gene-Manuel
I was speaking to a dear friend today and this topic came up. The one about knowing better, or thinking that the lesson was learned way back in the day, and all of a sudden, you're back to what feels like your old behaviour. That boulder in the road, blocking your progress.
I was recently greeted with a boulder I know well: depression. I thought I had conquered it, done it, lived in, out and through it so many times in the past. I thought that finally, I really had come out the other side. But there it was. Faced with situations that made me feel uncomfortable, helpless and hopeless, I once again felt the grip of depression take hold. Even the things in my life that were bringing me so much joy, such as my art, seemed to lose their power to bring me joy and peace. In fact, a piece I had started prior to this depression bout, has taken me longer than any other piece I've ever done. My heart was just not in it.
But, this time, things were a little different. Although there was the day where all I did was sit in my recliner and play solitaire on my iPhone, I was able to at least for an hour or two, rise above the misery. Even though the next day I cried on and off for two hours before leaving the house, I was able to reach for a better feeling thought and spend a few hours in what I call mind-relief. I was able to focus on something else that wasn't my depressed emotional state. In the past, I would've marinated in the feelings of despair and would've come up with every single reason why I was justfied in feeling this way.
This time around, I was able to face the depression head-on and instead of it blocking my progress on my life journey, I only stayed put for a couple of weeks. And even while I was there, temporarily stuck in the road, I was still able to look around the boulder and see that the path was clear. Behind this boulder of depression, there was only gravel. And, yeah, gravel I can handle.
And you know what, I was also able to appreciate how much I loved and enjoyed my life prior to the depression kicking in. I realized that the only thing that had changed, was the way I was thinking about things. I missed that new me that had emerged from the years of self-inflicted pain, despair, anger and rage.
As it turns out, I guess I have been paying attention. All the wonderful teachers that I've attracted to me, and their words of wisdom and hope, had given me something I lacked before. Eckhart Tolle taught me to be as present as possible. Byron Katie's work allowed me to do The Work on the issues that were causing me such pain and rage and suffering. The messages and rampages of Abraham-Hicks were a blessing and a comfort. Every now and again I would hear Wayne Dyer's voice in my head, reminding me that by changing my thoughts, I could change my life.
I'm happy to say that I was able to slowly and carefully remove that boulder from my path. It has rolled to the side of road and although I hope I don't have to meet with it again, I feel pretty confident that I'll able able to handle it if I do. It just takes a constant awareness of what I'm feeling and what thoughts I'm focusing on. I can't always control the things around me, but I do have the power to control how I react to them. And, really, I feel it all boils down to trusting that the Universe is always looking out for me. If deep in my core I know that I'm being taken care of by an all-loving, peaceful and generous Universe, then I've got nothing to worry about.
Until next time.
Peace and Light and keep dreaming,
Gene-Manuel
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